2:58 p. m. » The Heat and the Soo-Soo (In Greater Detail)

I´ve made a collective decision with all myselves to finally break down and buy my first pair of sandals. The reason for my not feeling too terribly guilty about this you will find described below. Now, not only will I then look as cool as the rest of the Spanish, I might not feel quite as hot as I´ve been. I apply and reapply deodorant at least thrice per day -- and this is the shit that´s supposed to be so effective you can skip a day. But to be frightfully honest, and in an attempt to practice at least some sort of optimism (out of extreme desperation, no doubt), the heat isn´t as tormenting as some may have been led to believe. See, the lighter side of this torture (that is the Barcelonian sun) is that I know that I no longer have to fear the temperatures of fury that I am to find in my semi-inevitable final destination: hell. So I can now do all that I please without reservation, for I´m convinced that I´ve already experienced second to worst.

¿Did I mention that the internet Laundromat in which my last post was composed was located inside a mall? ¡Europe! ¡LOL!

I´ve experienced my first sunburn in about five years. The pain wasn´t too bad until Serena decided to (accidentally) drag her fingernails across my forehead. But really, I´m okay. At least that place was already hurting -- as opposed to those where she´s left the rest of her marks.

It´s official though, Serena has seen me without a shirt on. She asked me to "remove" my pantalones as well so she could see my zee-zee, but I refused. She told me that she could see my tee-tees. She also informed me that my nipples are small, unlike her mother´s, whose are big. The information was so incredibly unnecessary, but appreciated as a warning nonetheless.

I assume it´s normal for her age, but this child is obsessed with toilet-type body exercises. She constantly asks if I´m doing poopoo, and reminds me that when I do, I should tell her (which I do not). No matter if they concern anything from Peter Pan to poopoo, this kid´s demands are out of hand. More examples: today she told me she wanted me to do soo-soo and poopoo on her face. If she keeps this up, she might be able to make some money one day -- I understand there is a market for this kind of thing. Anyway, she refuses to shit on the toilet, though she´s perfectly able, and so has her mother dress her in a diaper for ten minutes, while she sits in the livingroom and gets the job done. At first she´d demand that I leave the room, but has reached the comfort zone of simply and constantly reminding me that she is, in fact, doing poopoo. As far as soo-soo goes, she still makes sure that I do not watch. This is not a problem for me. She does, however, often attempt to watch me. Though I´m not permitted to be present for her widely anounced piss sessions, she now insists on my being there during her baths.

This morning I discovered her sitting in her room naked, and she refused to let me dress her. She wanted mama to do it -- and would wait for her. Fine. I came back ten minutes later and she´d, of course, changed her mind -- though, come to think of it, and in her defense, wanting to spend the entire day naked in one´s bedroom in such a climate is perfectly understandable.