3:04 a. m. » Day 45

What I failed to mention yesterday was that I'd been made victim of a partially just character assessment by a female I'd never met, in and outside of whose presence I want to refuse to use the proper name of. I just about quote, and word for word, "You've been in a small handful of relationships, most of which were long and serious. All of the girls were beautiful and you probably fucked the shit out of them. You like to dress preppie. [Extensive Pause]. Oh, and you probably walk by lots of women thinking you're better than them." One of the two of about-to-be-said friends absolutely lost it. Tonight, entering an unfamiliar small-town apartment, before making it through the door, my name was called out by someone inside who'd had me recognized. I have no idea who the kid was; he'd known my sisters. This -- all after a night with a friend who not only first admitted that he'd been bribed by his parents with $100 to vote republican, but who later broke down, cheeks beyond moist, voice repetitively cracking, recounting an untellabley depressing story concerning a mutual friend of ours (whom I've known for a decade and a half), and involving the dusk of a piteous relationship -- plus watching a laughing 19 year-old girl rip an Indian woman's pride, emotions, and trust to shreds was not how I'd expected to spend my night.